For the last couple of weeks I have been preparing to speak at my aunt’s funeral. This is something I have never done before, and because I love my cousin (and the rest of the family and friends I expect to be in attendance) I really wanted to do something special.
A significant focus for me in recent months has been on LOVE, as many of you can attest. So I thought to myself, “Can I use I Corinthians 13 at a funeral?” Let’s take a look:
I Corinthians 13:1-3 If I speak in the tongues of mortals and of angels, but do not have love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give away all my possessions, and if I hand over my body to be burned, but do not have love, I gain nothing.
At first this seems pretty straightforward. We can go through our life doing a lot of SPEAKING, gaining a lot of UNDERSTANDING, KNOWLEDGE and/or FAITH, and being GENEROUS and COURAGEOUS – but any of those activities apart from LOVE seem to be fairly worthless in Paul’s opion.
One fresh thought I had while I was studying this: If I speak with tonges of mortals and of angels, and I do so with LOVE as my guiding force, am I then making some beautiful music? If I have prophetic powers, and understand mysteries and have knowledge and great faith, and I underscore all this with LOVE, am I something? Finally, if I am generous and courageous, and I give and serve out of LOVE, is there something to be gained?
Those seem like very interesting questions that I had never considered before. Am I any closer to answering the funeral question? I think not yet, but let’s keep going…
I Corinthians 13:4-7 Love is patient; love is kind; love is not envious or boastful or arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices in the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
One of the things I was sure to mention, since I was delivering this at a funeral rather than the typical wedding setting, is that there is no evidence anywhere in this text or around it that Paul had a wedding or romantic love of any sort in mind when he wrote this chapter in his first letter to the Corinthians. I believe he wrote this for US, as brothers and sisters, to help us relate to one another in love. And this section, most particularly, reminds us just how difficult that can be. It’s a tough list to keep in mind! I am much more inclined to ARROGANCE and WANTING MY WAY than I am to PATIENCE and KINDNESS.
Any closer to an answer to the funeral question? I think not yet, but check out this next sentence:
I Corinthians 13:8a Love never ends.
When I got to this sentence, I realized I could indeed use I Corinthians 13 at a funeral. Just because my aunt Karen is no longer with us physically, if Paul is correct in this assertion, it may not mean that her love for us has abated. And based upon the grief we experience at a loved one’s physical death, it would seem that our love goes on as well. Could it be that LOVE transcends PHYSICAL DEATH? Isn’t that a wonderful concept to consider at a funeral?
Let’s keep going and see if there is any more relevance to a funeral in this chapter:
I Corinthians 13:8-13 Love never ends. But as for prophecies, they will come to an end; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will come to an end. For we know only in part, and we prophesy only in part; but when the complete comes, the partial will come to an end. When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child; when I became an adult, I put an end to childish ways. For now we see in a mirror, dimly, but then we will see face to face. Now I know only in part; then I will know fully, even as I have been fully known. And now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; and the greatest of these is love.
Love never ends. But some things do end. Some of the things listed at the beginning of the chapter, like prophecies and tongues. I don’t know for certain what Paul is talking about in this section because he seems a bit cryptic. I have heard attempts to explain this, but I have some thoughts of my own…
“When the complete comes.” Some translation say, “When the perfect comes.” I think this is a reference to an iminent second bodily return of Jesus. It seems to me that early in Paul’s writing (and this is an early letter) Paul makes several statements that demonstrate his belief that Jesus would return before his life was over. It appears he was wrong in that belief, but it may have been a very reasonable thing for the early church to teach and believe. Many STILL teach and believe similar things today! Whether that is his meaning, or he means something else, the trajectory here seems to be something like, “child…adult…next life.”
“When I was a child…” “When I became an adult…”
“Now we see…” “Then we will see…”
“Now I know…” “Then I will know…”
Starting this section with “Love never ends” seems to set us up to roll through the rest of these sentences as we sort of check them off the list. Certain things will come to an end. Not LOVE.
I mentioned when I spoke how fun it was for me to think of my aunt Karen – completed, or perfected – reunited with my uncle Lyle – also perfected. I also mentioned that one caused me to chuckle a bit because my uncle Lyle was such a character! Since Karen was the last of my Wheeler side aunts and uncles, I then sort of went around the world and suggested she had the opportunity to be reunited with the parents of my cousins who were present, and even my own parents – all perfected.
At a funeral there is often an emphasis on the FAITH of the deceased loved one. I understand this to be an attempt to bring comfort to a grieving family, so I get it. I mentioned that my aunt Karen was a person of faith. I also mentioned that I truly had no idea what that faith exactly entailed, as I can’t tell the relationship between any other human and the Creator. So I didn’t want to emphasize that aspect of the chapter.
Again, at a funeral there is often an emphasis on the HOPE we have as believers in Jesus. Because of the resurrection of Jesus, there is HOPE for a resurrection for US. Once more I can appreciate this as an attempt to bring comfort to a grieving family, so I get it. But again, I didn’t want to put the emphasis there.
Paul seems to have gone to a lot of effort in this chapter NOT to bring down the importance of FAITH or HOPE, but simply to say LOVE IS BETTER. Faith will become sight. Hope will be realized. Love never ends.
What could our VOICES, our FAITH, our POWERS, our KNOWLEDGE, and/or our GENEROSITY and COURAGE accomplish during these moments, days, weeks, months and years when we are PHYSICALLY ALIVE on this earth if we could but grasp the importance of LOVE. That is the challenge I left with my family and friends at the funeral service. And that is the challenge I continue to wrestle with personally and hope to continue to wrestle with for as long as I am able.
Love never ends.
The greatest of these is love.
